If it continues like this, we might be in danger even before we get to the jungle, and we’re only halfway through the Ocean. Romero keeps bickering with La’Blanc. Father Clemens continues with his stories; what he found out about our destination, and what we should prepare ourselves for., Even Emily Black, one of the sponsors, who bought her ticket for this expedition to get some excitement, is feeling uneasy. We all admire Fawcett’s work and bravery, but people are starting to be afraid of the unknown, and this is just the beginning. If this continues, my assistance might be more than required. After all, I saw people less stressed than this going mad, and in a less hostile environment than the one we’re going for.
And when I’m talking about madness, I do mean real madness. Conditions like self-mutilation can be truly problematic in unsafe surroundings (like a jungle), and I wouldn’t want to ask others to use force to stop people from hurting themselves. That’s just one of the fears I have; but to be honest, at this point I must expect anything – Paranoia, Schizophrenia and much, much more.
I’ve spoken with Cristine Key about it, and she said not to worry that much – I think she’s actually the only one that holds it all together. Apparently, there are spells that she’s heard about, which could help in such situations. Her knowledge about ceremonies and mystic subjects is flawless, and this gives me a little reassurance – that I won’t need to deal with it on my own. But, then again, whatever miraculous spell she is referring to, and no matter how much I want to believe in it, I’m sure there’s a cost. I guess we will find out soon.
I would hate to lose anyone. I saw my fair share of madness in my lifetime; I know how one’s mind works, and what scares people. To be honest, I often wonder what would happen to me if I were to go off the rail. I would probably creep the hell out of people. Then again. I hope we will never have to find out.
Ann Gillespie – Psychologist